We have been married for over 11 years and have an extremely happy and successful marriage with two terrific children. However, our happiness has taken much effort and we have learned greatly along the way. So, here are some tips on making the first five years of marriage the best they can be.

Get to know each other.
This tip seems obvious, and many couples feel that they already know all there is to know about their spouse before they get married. However, living in the same house with someone brings out traits (both good and bad) that you have never seen. Work on communicating about every subject under the sun, even when it is uncomfortable or embarrassing.

Simplify your lives.
This goes hand in hand with #1. To get to know each other takes time. The adequate amount of time can only come if you are willing to cut back on some of your activities such as hobbies, church activities, and work responsibilities. You cannot expect to have the same level of activity as when you were single and still have an intimate marriage.

Be one in body.
This can only happen if #1 and #2 are being carried out. This is the point where my best advice is to throw all preconceived ideas about what sex should be, out the window. Base your sexual encounters on what makes each of you feel good, not what society says. Explore each other's bodies and don't be afraid to be creative. Always place sex as a high priority in your lives to be enjoyed by each of you on a regular basis.

Learn to argue in a constructive manner.
No, there is no way of getting around disagreeing with your spouse from time to time. Don't be overly alarmed when it happens; just keep these tips in mind:
a) View your marriage like a sports team who is working together to win over your opponent. You are on the same team; your opponent is not your spouse; your opponent is the problem. Work together as a team to come up with a reasonable solution to the problem.
b) Each word you speak has a long-lived effect; choose your words carefully.
c) Exercise self-control and stay as calm as possible.
d) Try to put yourself in your spouse's shoes, so you can understand where they are coming from.

This is a very exciting time in your lives and should be enjoyed to the MAX.

Have fun!
This is a very exciting time in your lives and should be enjoyed to the MAX. Participate in fun hobbies and activities together. Doing something active is a great way to get men to open up and communicate their true feelings. Play and laugh with each other. Having a sense of humor can get you through difficult times together. Also, having fun together will build great memories that will last forever.

Special thanks to Paul and Lori for your wisdom and friendship!

Blessings on you all!
Mark and Teri

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